Clumps
by shygryf
Summary: Ron has something to tell Rose. He takes her to a quidditch match to soften her up first. Contains allusions to adult situations. Written for the original Helmet Fest, with the prompt "Cannons Season Tickets".


A big giant thank you and hugs and kisses to **iamshadow** for the last minute beta.

The title comes from an episode of "Dharma and Greg"

He had rehearsed his speech in his head over and over. He would be cool and nonchalant. He tried to think of it as a chess game where he anticipated his opponent's moves and prepared a defense, Except that this was more important than a chess game and she was more a reluctant castle and less an opponent.

"So Rosie-Posie, What are your plans for this weekend?"

Rose rolled her eyes before looking at him skeptically. She hated when he called her Rosie-Posie, and usually his question meant there was some project that he expected her help with, or he had some other dubious task for her.

"Why?" she asked. He could see the wheels turning as she thought up excuses.

"Uncle Harry is busy this weekend and I need someone to come to the Cannons game with me. You don't happen to know anyone interested do you?" His eyes twinkled as he tried not to smile nervously. He knew that her love for the Canons was second only to his own.

"Really? I'd love to! The Cannons are playing the Wimbourne Wasps and their new Chaser-"

He cut her off with his laugh. She had been spending too much time with her Uncle George and Aunt Angie. "Saturday it is. Tea at the Shipp Inn or the Leaky Cauldron?" He wanted something more private than the Leaky, but Alyssa Longbottom was Rose's best friend and to omit the choice might seem suspicious.

"Shipp's great! Alyssa is at her grandparents' so I wouldn't see her anyway," Rose said as Ron tried to hide his relief.

Saturday was clear and warm with just a hint of a breeze to keep the heat off. Hermione and Hugo left for the Stonehenge Library just after breakfast. Rose and Ron didn't have to leave until nearly ten because priority seating came with the season tickets. All the vendors and employees greeted Ron by name and asked where Harry was. Ron considered coming up with rude remarks as he became more frustrated, but he was supposed to be setting a good example for Rose, so he smiled politely and said, "Luckily for my daughter, Harry is busy."

The match was quite gripping, with the lead transferring back and forth and finishing with the two seekers crashing into each other and wrestling on the ground until the Cannons' seeker emerged holding a very battered Snitch. Ron thanked Merlin that his nervousness could be seen as team loyalty and elation at the spectacular win. He was uneasy all the way through the autograph session (Rose insisted she get her program signed). He was quite chuffed that a few children in the queue asked for ihis/i autograph, although Rose seemed rather annoyed.

"It's been twenty four years since he was defeated. Haven't you tired of being famous yet Daddy?" she asked, while they were having tea later that day. Rose was eating a chip buttie, but Ron figured his wife wouldn't mind if their daughter had one non-wholesome meal on today of all days.

Ron smiled. "Not at all. I'm really not very famous, and besides, I remember feeling invisible. Uncle Harry is much more famous than I am. And ever since your mum helped pass that legislation against those paper yahtzee-"

"Paparazzi, daddy." Rose interrupted

"Yeah them. Anyway, since then it's usually the occasional autograph request." He finished. They chatted about Quidditch and Rose's O.W.L. results and which classes she wanted to take. Finally, while eating their ice creams, Ron got to the topic he had been trying to broach.

"Rosie dear, there is something I have to tell you." He said it with as little emotion as possible.

Rose stopped with her spoon halfway to her mouth. "What is it Daddy?"

Ron took a deep breath. "You know that there are lots of different people out there and many types of attraction..."

"You mean like Uncle Charlie and Uncle Andy? Or Lavender and Pavarti? Daddy, Mummy already gave me the potions and Snitches talk."

Ron's ears turned pink. "I would rather not know how vast your knowledge of ipotions and Snitches/i is, thank you very much. But yes, like Uncle Andy and Uncle Charlie and Uncle Fred and Aunt Angie, some people work well in couples. But there are some people who work better in…" Ron still wasn't sure how to phrase this. No matter how many different versions he tried, he still wasn't sure what term to use.

"Clumps?" Rose asked.

Ron's face lit up as he finally remembered Hermione's term. "Trios," he said triumphantly, and then his triumph turned back into pensiveness as he realized what he had just blurted out. He tried to soften his pronouncement. "Some people just work better in trios."

"Does this mean that uncle Harry is finally moving in?" Rose questioned.

Ron felt as if someone had casted a full body bind. "What?"

"That is why you brought me out today isn't it?"

All he could do was make incoherent noises.

"Daddy, I'm sixteen. I see the way you look at each other. I've seen this coming since Auntie Ginny went to live with Oliver Wood last year. Honestly, we figured you would have told us months ago."

"We?"

"Did I say we?" Rose sounded a bit like Hagrid.

"You most certainly did. " His shock was subsiding and he was trying to keep the anger from seeping in.

" Well, it started a while back, when Hugo and I noticed that after Aunt Ginny moved out, Mum's Saturdays at the library seemed to last longer and match pretty closely time-wise with your arrival home from Cannons matches. Then, one day, Uncle Harry returned one of Mum's earrings with a dodgy excuse about how he ended up with it. The crowning note was when you went to the Cannons match wearing your favorite orange socks, and came home wearing Uncle Harry's ones with the Bludgers."

Ron sighed. "Who else have you told?"

"iI/i didn't tell anyone." Rose's ears were pink.

"Who else knows?"

"Uh… James and Alyssa were looking for a place to snog at Christmas and overheard Auntie Ginny and Uncle Harry arguing, and she said something about the wrong redhead. James told Hugo and Hugo spilled his guts. James and Hugo bet on how long it would take you to tell us."

"And you are alright with it?"

"Why not? To sleep at night, I tell myself that your socks were too small and Uncle Harry's too big. But then, I believe that babies come from St Mungo's."

"And how did you know it would be today?" he asked resignedly.

"I wasn't sure until the chip barm. There is no way you would risk mum's wrath under normal circumstances."

A/N For those of you not aware, A barm or Buttie is a sandwich, so a chip barm is a roll with chips (french fries). Potions and snitches is a Snape and Harry archive, but it always sonded like the birds and the bees to me.


End file.
